Empathy

For the past two weeks, my sons Sam and Nathan have both been in terrible pain – even more so than me. Their calluses on the bottoms of their feet are blistering, cracking and walking is excruciating for them.

As their mom, I understand exactly what they’re feeling. I understand how badly they are hurting. I understand how mentally and physically exhausting it can be for them to deal with this pain.

And yet, knowing all I know about PC, I am still at a loss at how to help them. As their parents, Dave and I provide clean needles for popping their blisters. We encourage them to keep the areas clean to avoid infection. We have them soak their feet with a capful of bleach. We provide Neosporin, the kind with a little numbing agent in it, to apply to their feet, especially the open calluses. When the open areas on their feet seem too raw, sore, mushy, etc. we bandage their feet. We provide petroleum jelly for their calluses to keep them soft enough so they won’t crack. We keep their calluses trimmed so they aren’t too thick or too thin. We bought them quality sandals to keep their feet cool. We gave them wicking socks for padding and to absorb moisture. On occasion, we give them oral pain relievers. But the pain is still there and currently it’s some of the worst they’ve ever experienced.

And yet, pain and all, both Sam and Nate walk out the door each morning to go to school with their “PC walk” – except now it’s more pronounced. More and more people are commenting to me every day about their limps. It is painful to watch them walk. It breaks my heart to see them hurting so much.

I’ve asked each of my boys if they want to use crutches, but both say no. Both boys think their peers won’t understand. Sam will use crutches every now and then as long he thinks he won’t see anyone he knows. Fortunately, here in Utah, school is out for the summer in about three weeks and perhaps then their feet will have time to rest and heal a little bit. They have lots of fun summer activities lined up, but hopefully, they will have enough “down time” to let their feet get better.

All I know is as a mom, I’m trying everything I can, but I still feel helpless to know how to help my boys. I hug them a lot. I tell them I’m sorry they’re hurting. But I also tell them how happy I am that they are my boys and how glad I am for all the good things they do in their lives. It’s important to me that they don’t feel sorry for themselves. I know from experience that just having someone be empathetic really helps in handling the pain. Maybe that’s all I can do for now. I wish it were more.