Living with PC can be challenging, and unkind behavior from others can sometimes make those challenges even more difficult. However, no one deserves to be bullied, and there are ways to respond, seek support, and build confidence when these situations arise.
Bullying is when someone repeatedly treats another person in a hurtful or unkind way. A person who bullies often believes they have more power than someone else, whether because of physical strength, popularity, confidence, or another reason. Bullying is intentional and may involve one person or a group of people.
Bullying can be physical, such as hitting, pushing, or intentionally stepping on someone’s feet. It can also be emotional, including teasing, name-calling, excluding others, or making hurtful comments about PC. Over time, bullying can affect a person’s confidence and emotional well-being.
It is important to remember that no one deserves to be bullied, whether they have PC or not. No one has to face bullying alone, and there are effective ways to respond and seek help.
There are many excellent resources available on how to handle bullying. Below are some helpful tips that have been shared by the PC community.
Tips for stopping bullies:
- Ignore the behavior when possible: People who bully often seek attention or a reaction. When it is safe to do so, try not to engage, argue, or respond with hurtful words. Remaining calm and not reacting may discourage the bullying if the person does not receive the response they were hoping for. If the bullying continues or feels unsafe, be sure to tell a trusted adult and ask for help.
- Teach others about PC: Sometimes, helping others understand PC can reduce misunderstandings and prevent hurtful comments. Explaining that PC is simply a genetic condition can help classmates better understand what it is and how it affects daily life. Practicing a simple explanation with a parent, caregiver, or trusted friend can make these conversations feel easier. Friends who understand PC are often better able to offer support, stand up for someone being bullied, and help educate others.
- Recognize personal strengths: Every person has unique talents, abilities, and qualities that make them special. PC is only one part of who a person is—it does not define their identity or potential. Spending time doing activities that build confidence and highlight personal strengths can make it easier to cope with unkind behavior. It also helps others see the many interests, talents, and positive qualities that make each person unique, rather than focusing only on PC.
- Surround yourself with supportive people: Build friendships with people who are kind, respectful, and encouraging. Spending time with positive friends can help create a strong support system and make school a happier, more enjoyable place. Good friends accept and value others for who they are, including those living with PC.
- Ask for help: No one should have to deal with bullying alone. If bullying happens, tell a parent, teacher, school counselor, or another trusted adult. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Speaking up may also help protect other children who are experiencing bullying but are afraid to say something.
What to remember: Bullying is never okay. No one deserves to be bullied, regardless of who they are or whether they have PC. Everyone deserves to be treated with kindness, respect, and dignity.
Examples
Below are some awesome ideas that other PC children and parents have said or done to stop the bullies.
“No, I’m not contagious. Yes, you can play with me. I like toys too and playing tag.”
“We have different color eyes, different kinds of styles, different types of nails. What’s the difference?”
“Dealing with truly malicious bullies is one thing, where kids probably shouldn’t engage and should just laugh, turn around and walk away. But most kids aren’t malicious, just ignorant. They might hold their nose and say “eew! Gross!” when they see PC feet. If this happens to you, you can just say “it’s not gross. It’s just different. It’s called PC and sometimes it really hurts. If you want I can show you more and tell you all about it”. Try not to believe anyone who says it’s yucky, disgusting or gross (or that you should just take care of your feet more). Remember that’s it’s not your fault that you have this and feel sorry for anyone who feels so insecure that they feel like they have to belittle you for your condition.”
“I’m beautifully different and beautifully me. I’m so unique that there’s only 792 people that we know of in the world like me! I can’t control the fact that I was born different, but you can control the way you treat me!”
“As a child I never really handled bullies in a way I would condone others repeating. However, as a parent of a PC child I take a different approach. Every year I have a meeting with his new teacher first and explain it to her. Then I ask her when would be a good time to come in and talk to the class about it. I go up and introduce myself as “Wyatt’s Mom” and tell them we’re going to learn some super advanced biology today. Stuff that’s usually for big kids to learn but that they’re special so they get to learn it now. I tell them about PC, how it happens and etc. Just the basics in terms that are kid friendly. Then I tell them Wyatt has it just like I do and explain a little about how it looks/feels and what it’s like to have it and live with it. When I’m done I give them the chance to ask me questions and share how they feel about it. The only year he was ever teased was kindergarten because that was the only year I didn’t do it. He’s going into 4th grade now and we’ve never had another problem with bullying.”
“I just print the brochures off the PC website and give to any new teachers.”
“My boys with PC were being spit on while riding the school bus because of their PC nails. All the ‘spitters’ were kids from a bus stop not in our neighborhood so no one knew our family. One day, my husband and I went with our boys to that bus stop where both kids and parents were waiting for the bus to come. We worked the crowd, showing them all our nails, explaining PC a little bit. Parents and children alike were interested. Needless to say, our boys were never bullied again on that bus after our little PR campaign.
I actually role-played with my PC children so they would know to how to explain what they had to other children. I even shrugged with my shoulder when I said after explaining, “No big deal.” Soon after, I was volunteering in the school when I overheard another child ask mine what was wrong with his nails. He basically repeated what we practiced including the shoulder shrug and the words, “No big deal”. The other child accepted it all as no big deal and moved on.”
Bullying resources for parents, teachers, students:
- The National Crime Prevention Council (NCPC) – According to the NCPC website, “bullying can be a gateway behavior, teaching the perpetrator that threats and aggression are acceptable even in adulthood.” The NCPC has a page dedicated to bullying with great information and a variety of resources for parents, teachers, and students.
- The Pacer Center is a parent center for families of children and young adults with disabilities. Along with the National Coalition for Parent Involvement in Education, the NEA, and the National PTA, the PACER Center sponsors bullying prevention month.
- WEB MD Bullying Resources: A comprehensive view of why bullying happens and what can be done about it.
- StopBullying.gov is designed to help parents identify what is bullying, who is at risk, how to prevent it and respond to it, and also, how to get help.
- Mr. John Halligan, who lost his son Ryan as a result of bullying, travels the country hosting seminars about bullying, how to recognize it, and most importantly how to learn the signs that your child is being bullied.
- Top Tips for Preventing Cyberbullying from Sunshine Behavioral Health is a page to help parents and teachers recognize the signs of cyberbullying and provide the tools they need to help the victims. It also discusses how cyberbullying affects our children’s mental health and development and works to reduce the shame and stigma sometimes associated with being a victim of cyberbullying.
